Recommended if you like psychotic robots, teleporting, and cake!
Description: I know, I know. I should get out of here with this review. Portal is a decade old today (happy birthday!) and it’s been reviewed to death. For good reason of course as it is much beloved and treasured by pretty much everybody even vaguely familiar with gaming. It is the mind-bendiest of the mind-bending, has a completely original tone, and packs a punch with phenomenal puzzling. Portal was an instant classic and remains a canonical addition to the gaming universe.
Now Portal is much more exciting than most of the escape games I talk about on this blog and I wanted to review it for a very important reason. If you read anything about Portal online, be it a synopsis, description or review, nobody will call it an “escape game.” And yet, Portalis the most textbook example of an escape game that I can think of. A series of rooms containing discrete puzzle arrays, where the ultimate goal is to escape all of the rooms and, eventually, the whole facility. It’s true that Portal transforms into a first person shooter half way through but the puzzling is absolutely foundational even as the adrenaline pumps up. The only reason nobody would call Portal an escape game is because “escape game” has a particular connotation. It is a bad connotation. But I am here to defend escape games everywhere and declare that they are fun! And cool! And there should be more of them! And Portal is an escape game, dudes! Deal with it!
Difficulty Elements: greatcascade | readily apparent puzzle arrays | esoteric interfaces | some Absurdity | unique solves
The Short: I think this is actually a veterinarian’s office?
Recommended if you like epic fails, situational comedy, drawing blood
Description: I love a good translation error. Misspellings and grammatical mistakes are both charming and unavoidable when navigating between earth languages. Still, I think it’s important to remember that while the latest listicle featuring silly Engrish is hilarious, it’s good to stay humble and remember that people everywhere are doing their best.
That being said, Escape from Doctor’s Office is a translation error on a whole new level. The English itself in this game is actually fine, so kudos to the writers who worked on that. Instead, the translation error seems to have occurred in the text-mapping stage of this game’s development. All of the “helpful messaging” seems to have been beamed over from a totally different puzzle paradigm. The result is a hilarious dadaist excursion that I can only communicate in pictures:
There are other things wrong with this game at the level of play but I think I’ve been critical enough for one day. Now I would like to end this post with a quotation from an author I really enjoy named Kakuzo Okakura who himself was bilingual in Japanese and English.
“Translation is always a treason, and as a Ming author observes, can at its best be only the reverse side of a brocade,–all the threads are there, but not the subtlety of colour or design.” – The Book of Tea
Mr. Okakura, if only you could see what has happened in this crazy age of computers.
Difficulty Elements: okay cascade | both readily apparent & invisible puzzle arrays | both straightforward & esoteric interfaces | some Absurdity | both typical & unique solves
Published by Tengeri Games. I played this on android.
The Short: Weird but not like, that weird.
Recommended if you like Edward Gorey, ink blots, German expressionsism
Description: I didn’t care for this game but I do have some nice things to say about it. Weird Escape is a very curious creation. First off, the artwork is wonderful. Stylistically we are in the world of pen & ink horror not unlike Edward Gorey’s famed Gothic creations or Franz Kafka’s lesser-known scribblings. So, kudos to the designer, who I believe is named Jenki G.
Speaking fairly, Weird Escape is actually an extremely good version of a Doors Galore. It might even be the only good version of a Doors Galore that’s ever existed! Doors Galores tend to be the most ill-designed, scornful things you can find, whereas Weird Escape is definitely a beloved child born to a nurturing family. I guess it’s as the saying goes, “in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.”
Still, this game is not too exciting. Objectively, Weird Escape just doesn’t have good puzzling going on. It’s very simplistic, with one trick per door, and the drawings themselves, while cool, do not extend into any animation territory. Everything is perfectly static. The short puzzle chains are also standard issue puzzle varieties that can be found in almost every other room escape you’ve ever tried. So, despite the name, Weird Escape really isn’t all that weird. Still, this was a memorable experience.
Difficulty Elements: very little cascade | readily apparent puzzle arrays | straightforward interfaces | no Absurdity | typical solves
Recommended if you like alleyway furniture, isolation chambers, peeping through keyholes
Description: I’ve noted, ad nauseam, my ambivalent feelings towards hozdesign games. On the one hand, they maintain a very cool aesthetic style across games. The rooms themselves are always off kilter in a fun and challenging way. The puzzle quality, however, can be unpredictable. Blue is right on the line for me between being a technically “good” game versus another disappointment. I, personally, was not able to complete this game without a walk through and when I did watch the walkthrough, I was very irritated to learn that I had arrived at the correct solution but something about the way the room was visually designed confused my ability to execute on that solution. I am willing, this time, to chalk this up to human error and I will not fully penalize the game. I still won’t give this a Seal of Goodness though. After all, what are we without our standards?
Difficulty Elements: ok cascade | both readily apparent & invisible puzzle arrays | both straightforward & esoteric interfaces | a touch of Absurdity | typical solves
Published by Brazen Cat. I played this on android.
The Short: Fun with colors! Fun with puzzles! Three cheers for Brazen Cat!
Recommended if you like primary colors, protruding podiums, running to and fro
Description: Brazen Cat wins. Every single game I’ve played by them has knocked it out of the park. Colors is a great game, though it does feel aesthetically different from its sisters Cylinders and Cubes. Unlike those two games, Colors is a little less sterile and maybe even less sophisticated in style overall. Still, Colors is just as fun and also it is a much bigger game, with four rooms to run around between, in search of color codes.
The puzzles in this game are all very different which keeps it fun and challenging. In terms of difficulty, it’s a healthy medium. Most everything is straightforward enough but there are definitely a few stumpers in this game that took me a while to get over before I could keep hurdling towards the end. Framed pictures on the walls will give you all the guidance you need to get the wiring hooked up in these four rooms. Collect some gems, mix a color wheel, and unlock the various circuit breakers.
Difficulty Elements: great cascade | readily apparent puzzle arrays | both straightforward & esoteric interfaces | no Absurdity | both unique & typical solves
The Short: Another day, another factory standard studio apartment to escape from.
Recommended if you like low lighting, spotless surfaces, Beethoven
Description: I feel like I have already escaped from this room many, many, times. A couch, a desk, hardwood flooring, and unadorned drywall. It’s not fair to criticize SOHO in particular because I play these games in a somewhat random order. Who’s to say that SOHO wasn’t the first game to devise this ordinary style of adventure? And yet, I’m pretty sure they weren’t.
This game is perfectly fine. The graphics are better than average. The puzzling quality is good. Aside from the fact my deja vu has deja vu, I can’t say this game is bad.
Difficulty Elements: good cascade |readily apparent puzzle arrays | straightforward interfaces | no Absurdity | typical solves
Recommended if you like igloos, penguins, polar bears
Description: Welp. This was better than Escape from the ballet classrooms. Still, Ablues is not shaping up to be my favorite publisher. This game is a bit rickety in its logic. I tend to discredit games when the puzzling is more focused on finding objects which are lost in a heap of other objects. A better quality game will efficiently present you with several key instruments and let you work out what the puzzle calls for. Igloo spoon feeds the player with lots of hints and glaringly obvious puzzle arrays.
Igloo Escape is an easy game so at least you won’t be stuck inside of its mixed-up aesthetic for long. Plushie animals, a sled, and a pile of grocery store items will keep you company as you scoot around in the snow. I won’t go so far as to call this game bad but I don’t recommend it either.
Difficulty Elements: little cascade | readily apparent puzzle arrays | straightforward interfaces | no Absurdity | both unique & typical solves